What Men Can Do to Increase Intimacy

Intimacy extends much beyond sex; it is about feeling totally comfortable and vulnerable with another person. Most couples, regardless of how much they love each other or how attracted they initially were to one another, experience a gradual loss of intimacy in their relationship as time passes.

Even in good relationships, a lack of emotional connection frequently leads to a reduction in sexual life and intimacy.

Can you recall the last time you and your partner had a conversation that didn't involve kids, money, chores, or work? Everyday tasks and responsibilities can leave little or no room for spontaneity and intimacy. And besides, it can be challenging to feel sexy and enthusiastic about having sex while your children are sleeping next door or while heaps of laundry are waiting to be finished.

Also, your partner's upbringing, childhood traumas, bad experiences, stress, and mental health problems can all lead to feelings of insecurity and self-limiting beliefs, which can affect their adult relationships. They could be uncomfortable with close relationships, avoid revealing their feelings, or struggle with sexual desire and behavior.

And when it comes to sex and intimacy, women and men often have different perceptions and expectations. This serves to complicate the situation further.

However, there are things that men can do to increase intimacy in a relationship. Here are a few suggestions

Spend Quality Time Together

Go out for dinner, or spend a cozy evening at home. It could help you focus less on sex and more on emotional connection and communication, making you feel closer and safer.

Take It Slowly

Take things one day at a time to increase intimacy. Most women have days when they feel down for no particular reason. So, if your spouse isn't interested in sex on certain days, don't push it.

Put Emphasis on Touching

Cuddling, kissing, massaging, holding hands while watching a movie, or taking a bath together are all excellent ways to be intimate and enjoy each other's company without having sex.

Schedule Sex Dates

To maintain intimacy in a long-term partnership or marriage, you might need to do some planning. Even though being spontaneous amps up excitement and makes you want to have sex, maintaining that level of spontaneity when you are busy with your job and family may be challenging.

Scheduling your sex date allows tension to build because our brains experience more pleasure when gratification is delayed. So, odd as it may sound, planning a sex date with your partner may increase sexual drive and arouse desire.

Discuss Your Sexual Fantasies Openly

Lack of sexual desire in a relationship is often rooted in the different ways people experience sex.

So, if you want to have a meaningful, intimate relationship, you must be willing to be open and vulnerable with one another. And this involves openly sharing your innermost thoughts, feelings, and sexual fantasies with your partner.

By being completely honest about your eroticism and defining what sex means, you may help each other understand your differences, increase desire, and try different ways to bring pleasure to each other.

In other words, to keep your sexual relationship going, you need to know and understand your different sexual needs.

Support Your Partner

Managing time as a working mother and a spouse may be difficult. Working long hours, caring for children, and other everyday responsibilities provide little time for self-care, adding to the invisible load that most modern women shoulder these days.

Because stress from accumulated pressures can cause anxiety, burnout, and a lack of sexual desire, recognizing your partner's unseen load can help you feel seen, heard, and supported. In addition, empathy could go a long way toward making your partner feel genuinely appreciated and improving your emotional and sexual connection.

Consider How You Initiate Sex

Consider the ways you initiate sex. You may be either being too passive or coming on too strong. In either case, your behaviors may cause you and your spouse to feel dissatisfied, frustrated, or blamed, further increasing your distance.

Swap Out Your Sex Routine

Because our sexual desire and libido change over time, predictability and recurrence might be the kiss of death when it comes to igniting a sexual desire. So, as long as you're both okay with it, breaking up your routine might help you reconnect.

Stay Connected Throughout the Day

Keeping in touch while you go about your day can increase your bond and intimacy. So, text each other throughout the day, share your experiences and ask your partner how their day is going.

Spend time alone in the evenings and discuss things other than your kids, school, bills, and grocery shopping. Make plans for your next vacation and discuss books or movies you've recently read or seen.

Plan a Weekend Gateway

If childcare is available, spend a weekend away with your partner, away from all household distractions. If planning a weekend away is too difficult, go on a date instead. Remember that it is all about quality, not quantity. So, it doesn't matter if it's a few days or hours, as long as you can spend time together focused on each other and having fun.

Consider Couples Counseling

To create and sustain healthy intimacy in our relationships, we must consider how our early interactions influenced our present sexual behavior.

Were your parents hesitant to show affection? Were they physically at ease with each other, or did they seem distant and cold? Were you allowed to discuss intimacy and sex openly during puberty and adolescence?

What you learned and internalized about sex as a child affects how you deal with intimacy in adult relationships. Also, how your family expressed love may have affected your feelings about close relationships as an adult.

Couples counseling might help you sort through your intimacy issues. A professional therapist can assist you in understanding your personal history of intimate relationships, shed light on previous wounds and how they contribute to your current problems, and help you understand the differences in your emotional and sexual needs.

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Reference articles

https://www.healthline.com/health/intimacy

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creating-in-flow/201602/10-proven-ways-you-can-increase-intimacy

https://www.gottman.com/blog/10-ways-rekindle-passion-marriage/

https://www.talkspace.com/blog/fear-of-intimacy/

https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/intimacy/how-to-overcome-intimacy-issues/